It takes a special
individual to live in Illinois; you have to be connected somehow. Your mother
still does your laundry, all your high school friends live here and aren’t
sober long enough to move, your dream job brought you here and doesn’t pay
enough for you to save up money to escape, you love crappy weather, or you’re
looking forward to watching the state split in half when the New Madrid Fault
finally lets go.
Your desire to live here
has to overshadow any shred of logic whatsoever. The taxes are some of the
highest in the nation, ineffective social welfare programs drain the state’s
coffers, a small handful of enormously powerful politicians de facto own the
state, potholes in the streets look like the result of a meteor shower,
Interstates have three conditions: gridlock due to rush hour, gridlock due to
summer construction and gridlock due to winter ice and snow. And, if you happen
to believe in the Bill of Rights and are a pro-Second Amendment person… Well,
we all know about that problem.
The thing is Illinois
has all the makings of a great state. There’s Lake Michigan, the rest of the
state is largely rural with bountiful rivers, lakes and forests and to be fair,
Chicago is one of the best cities in the world. Chicago has phenomenal
restaurants, incredible entertainment including one of the world’s best
symphony orchestras and a beautiful waterfront. There’s a lot to recommend it
except… you know… for the part where people keep trying to kill you.
But the woes of Illinois
all trace back to one irrefutable fact: It is, and has been for many years, run
by progressive liberals to the point it has made conservatives hide in closets
and curl up into fetal balls. Yet this is a democratic process and If the
slaves ever get angry enough they can revolt and overturn the current political
stranglehold. The progressive liberal agenda is strictly top down so if you
think Illinois liberals are bad check out what the Nancy Pelosi, Chuck Schumer
and Maxine Waters in the Congress are preaching.
After you remove the
double-speak and hyperbole, here’s what today’s progressive liberals are openly
suggesting for the future of the United States.
First out of the box of
their bag of tricks comes the fact that any Republican president was an
illegitimate election; a Democratic president is the will of the people. A
Democratic president can pretty much do anything he or she wishes,
circumventing the law, the Constitution and the will of the Congress and John
Q. Public. You remember, “We have to pass this bill to see what’s in it,” don’t
you? A Republican president creates constitutional crises if his limo double
Republic is an inefficient form of government that makes a few people extremely
wealthy and they, in turn, functionally own the country and dictate how John Q.
Public will live. Progressives believe our current form of government should be
replaced by socialism which… uh… well, makes a few people very wealthy and
they, in turn, functionally own the country and dictate how John Q. Public will
An inherent belief in
the concept of socialism dictates that our healthcare system must be
nationalized and redistribution of wealth should be fiscal policy. Progressives
would implement a maximum wage because nobody deserves to make so much money.
On the other hand, there would also be a federally guaranteed income because…
well… just because. The reason this is necessary is conservatives don’t pay
their fair share of taxes while tax cuts and bonuses for the poor are nothing
more than token efforts.
Progressives see no
problem with unrestricted illegal immigration including terrorist groups and
gangs such as the ultra-violent MS-13. They refer to them as undocumented
immigrants looking for a better life. Well, that’s probably true. There’s a
heck of a lot more wealthy people to rob and goods to steal here than in
Salvador and the Honduras. Funding entitlements for illegal immigrants is more
important than funding veteran services and, for that matter, the US military
and law enforcement are racist and homophobic.
Only a progressive would
think it makes sense to have Syria on the U.N. Human Rights Council and Hamas
and Iran should be supported as a matter of national policy. Israel, on the
other hand, is… well, Israel. They not only don’t deserve to have a country,
they don’t deserve to live because… Uh… in 1967 they humiliated an invading
force 10 times their size so payback is in order. Unfortunately for them, those
who would be doing payback are too busy screwing goats.
If progressives want to
change our government to socialism then it makes perfect sense that they
encourage disrespect for our National Anthem and the U.S. flag. The one thing
both progressive liberals and conservatives agree on is we need to build a
wall. Republicans want to prevent people from entering the county illegally;
progressives will want to prevent them from leaving once we’re all sharing
To a progressive, the
constitution and the Bill of Rights is a living document and outdated. Violence
against conservatives is acceptable but freedom of speech against liberals is
racist, sexist or homophobic and should be outlawed. And the Second Amendment
will be the first to go when progressives ban all civilian firearm ownership…
well, except for the important people such as them.
Which brings me to the
point. If all this doesn’t motivate you start taking elections seriously and
putting your money and time toward ousting progressive liberals, I don’t know
what will and we’re doomed.